I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
my mom just said "if you had sex with someone you don't really like I'm going to be so mad at you" HOW DOES EVERYBODY KNOW
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
You serve our country by fighting in the sandbox, i serve our country by entertaining rich businessmans' daughters. We each do our part.
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
I'm pretty sure the rest of my evening will consist of masturbating, drinking tequila and watching children's movies.
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
Randomize
