Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
I just puked in a penis shaped cake pan. I've hit an all new low for a Tuesday.
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
I thought of you this morning when I woke up in a bed with a girl wrapped in duct tape dressed as a coors light can.
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
I mean, you have to swipe right on someone you had sex with last week though, right?
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
according to the calendar even that i put in my phone last night, i'm supposed to fuck shit up at 11am today... i really hope i didn't miss something important
Randomize
