Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
A girl pulled up next to me at a stoplight just now, looked around for a second, and then changed her top, bra and all, before the light turned green. New. Hero.
At the end of the white elephant exchange, our professor had a big black dildo around her neck and I won a full body dinosaur suit. I could die tomorrow with no regrets.
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
I accidentally sent him a snapchat of my boobs and now we're going on a date tomorrow... Could be worse.
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
Oh damn it. Let me get a beer. I can't take anymore bad news. Hold on.
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
Randomize
