Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
Apparently you make a good broom.
I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
bro, sorry for: trying to put you on fire yesterday, telling the bouncer that it was you that broke the bottles, and to have slept with your sister.
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
They finally caught us and banned us forever, but it was worth it because we didn't have to pay for light bulbs for at least 3 years.
So you stole light bulbs, from your favorite bar, and got banned, and you're happy?
Look we couldnt pay for light bulbs and ramen, and you can't eat light bulbs or cook in the dark. Win - win.
Remember that time a drunk Dracula took a shit in the urinal? Ooh, that's right, it was last night.
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
What are the chances I get my period 2 weeks early just as welcome week starts. My uterus is conspiring with my dead catholic grandma
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
Dude. Craziest ride ever. I was convinced that the bus was an airplane. There were clouds when I looked out the window. I got really upset every time the bus turned because airplanes shouldn't turn.
Randomize
