haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
the quote on the bathroom wall was "stop reading this and focus on peeing" and i realized i'd peed on the seat.
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
I think it's safe to say taking shots on the way to the emergency room was rock bottom. We're going to need to think of ways to top that between now and next new years eve...
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
New guy at the liquor store was inexplicably fascinated by our huge jug of williams. First he said what are you gonna mix THAT with? and looked confused when I said air.
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
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