i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
Babe, the 4 years we've been together have been amazing. Will you marry me?
are you seriously doing this over text message
hahaha no, but i am dumping you.
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
I'm pregaming before our pregaming dinner...with peanut butter and beer. I think I need to re-evaluate my budget...
Just the budget?
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
Dude you're alone at a bar with a woman, and you're talking about my junk?
A guy wearing a shirt that says "eat shit and die motherfucker" just held open a door for me. He's got manners.
i stole nothing, broke nothing, and stabbed nothing. aren't you proud of me?
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
I said "one day" and that day is not today
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
Randomize
