I'm going to jail i love you
So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
Sometimes I kiss girls just to make them shut up.
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
Speaking of morons, I just found half a Subway sandwich in the bathroom drawer You or your brother?
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
I have surprise drugs for everyone
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
I just had the weirdest moment. Made eye contact at the bar with a girl who has seen my vagina.
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
I'm just drunk enough to be eating egg rolls on the toilet
Randomize
