tonight would not even compare to the night i tried to pee in the living room
is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
I think one day, after evolution kicks in, my sons will thank me for having a 3rd ball. That's how much sex I'm having.
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
Sara can't come to the phone right now. She's currently having an in-depth conversation with a flower pot.
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
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