I just watched a guy get turned down by a prostitute
Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
Listen, this was just a tiny lapse of judgement.
I'm pretty sure that's not a synonym for pregnancy.
Two hours into move in day and the ambulance is here already.
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
Apparently I send drunk snapchats a lot and they always have random dudes in them. Like one night it was just me and some guy I don't know sitting on my couch.
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
Im just drunk enough to admit that I miss Hannah Montana.
You left your phone here
Wait...
Randomize
