It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
Randomize
