No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
We asked an illegal alien to buy us beer. He didn't even want a tip. I'm going to Washington to plead that case.
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
Ugh why does it have to be margarita Monday. Why can't it be pants off dance off beer pong but with jager Monday.
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
Ya know what's been the best part of this College Football Season? Not having to hear Brent Musberger say the Honey Badger 77 fucking times.
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
Well you ended up trying to convince two Greek girls that you were Greek, but failed massively by shouting at them in Spanish, and then almost vomiting after taking way too much snuff. Maybe lay off the guinness next time?
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
I dropped a piece of Mac and cheese in the shower and I almost still ate it. Stoned, but not stoned enough to degrade myself.
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
Randomize