she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
You're gonna die alone anyway. Even if you do meet a man, they die earlier than women. Best case, you have to deal with grieving over his death and then die alone a couple years later. Worst case, you get a terminal illness and he divorces you, leaving you to die alone anyway.
Thanks, mom.
I really don't want to. I just don't know how to nicely say "dude I'm having a rough time in life right now and I just need to dress like a stripper cop, get shit faced, and have dirty crazy sex"
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
just got a call from a life insurance sellsperson and apparently our xany dealer referenced us. not cool thats breaking the 4th wall
If we hadn't just agreed to no commitment, i'd totally propose right now. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
Randomize
