is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
He asked if I wanted to blow his flute? Please call me and pretend there is a family emergency!!!
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
I just figured out the time exactly by how many shots and beers that I've had since this morning. I either have a terrible problem, or a great solution.
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
idk i was trying to watch Fuller House and you got up out of a dead sleep, just in your boxers, said "no more Dave Coulier" and walked out to the living room and unplugged the router
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
Randomize
