So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
why does being broke make me substitute dinner for vodka, Xanax, and two day old cupcakes? I don't like being fat, jittery and drunk.
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
My neighbor is on the his front porch in a robe dipping a popsicle into what appears to be vodka. I want to be his son.
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
I told him I tried to eat a stranger's sandwich while I was drunk. Mildly disappointed but he realizes he has me for a kid.
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
My dad told me that my grandparents are giving me $20,000 and my actual response was "do you know how many kittens I could buy with that?!?"
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
Randomize
