You picked a bad night to stay in. ____ caught her hair on fire in ____'s birthday cake.
She had to stop drop and roll while two other girls beat the flames out. She might have a black eye
yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
Fyi when u order four mini bottles of scotch on a 45 min flight. The flight attendants jaw drops to the floor.
He decided not to draw dicks on my face when I passed out because he was afraid I'd retaliate and superglue his dick to his stomach....he knows me too well.
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
She won't let me open the car door while we are on the highway so I can throw up outside. She deserves to have her car thrown up in.
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
i woke up with a shamrock tattoo on my wrist and a fat bruise on my hipbone. please tell me its not real.
Randomize
