Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
my boobs are worth more now than the blue book value of my car.
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
You know you're in the hamptons when it's 10pm And you kind of want to vomit white wine on rug that costs more than your apartment.
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
how do you tell someone, in the most complimentary way possible, that they would make an excellent stripper?
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
Randomize
