shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
You totally left a blue butt print on our banister
Well I think we can all agree that that's better than then bowl of puke I left last time.
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
I think there's an ice cream truck out back, but there's no way I can get pants on in time to catch it
Just spent 10 minutes washing away my own puke. This gas station lady loves me.
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
I had to take on your role as drunk idiot....I have no idea how you do it so well and so regularly. That shit is exhausting.
Randomize
