You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
Dude. Hurry up. They just blessed the tequila.
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
The only thing stopping me from having sex with you in my parents jacuzzi bathtub is the knowledge that they've already had that idea themselves
I just found a contact in my phone named "Sam 'it Won't Fit' Wilson". No clue when or where it came from....
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
Uhmmmm is there really any way to tactfully ask "you into me jerking you off with my feet... or nah" cause if you find one let me know 😂
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
I have had my dick inside of entirely too many people at this wedding in order for me to be the groom. Please give me a swift kick in the dick to wake me up from this nightmare
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