So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
I was totally going to sleep with him, until he got naked and started swinging around his boner singing "I'm so hard. oh yeah yeah yeah, I'm so hard" like Rihanna.
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
FYI the landlord called and plumbers will be tearing up the bathroom tomorrow. Apparently the tub is leaking into the apt below us so be sure to pee in the shower today.
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
I think Facebook knows you fucked me. All of a sudden I get everything you do in my news feed.
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
I can't trust your balls anymore.
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
Randomize
