great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
Last-second stop at the drug store for lube and condoms. Clerk said "So uhmmm...that's a done deal, huh?"
High five!
I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
I walk in to see her roommate half naked on their stripper pole. I knew I was home.
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
Dear Penis Owner...our records show that you are overdue for servicing...please contact our friendly associates to schedule a thoroughly satisfying experience today...operators are standing by...
just saw a sign in the bar that says "no more naked fridays". Where the fuck was I on these naked fridays?
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
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