then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
I really need to stop drunk texting. My one night stand just agreed to go roller skating.
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
No, the moral of my Oxford interview was "Never snort caffeine pills".
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
I just had sex a few hours ago now i'm eating frozen yogurt making sex plans for tonight while catching Pokémon. What a time to be alive.
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
Randomize
