office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
Dude I'm drinking a martini out of a water bottle, I've become my parents.
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
Oh FYI, people asked how/why I met you and I didn't want to say "drunk at a party on an air mattress" so I made a story up. It was a very cute and charming story with no alcohol.
i knew as soon as i met you that i was gonna be the designated driver
EVERYTHING IS DISNEY. Even my sexting can lead to Disney.
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
I didn't know it was possible and I don't know if I'll ever be able to do it again on my own but he literally fuck me sideways.
Randomize
