i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
I bought a goldfish, named it after my ex-girlfriend, and let it die. It's really the little things in life.
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
My boss just called me for legal advice. What has my life become?
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
I am his drunk Jesus. I will love him from afar because he's my little lamb
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
8 stitches. Next time I decide to twerk while doing a keg stand, stop me.
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
Just FYI: if you happen to notice a liquid of some sort on my kitchen counter with an interesting color/ texture, don't taste it
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