i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
Like reprimanding the wall for "sneaking up on me" drunk
I just shaved my vag with a razor my dad left when he was here a few months ago. Too hungover to think about the Freudian connotations
We're going to shave my junk and take pictures of it wearing fake mustaches we found at the dollar store. They're uncannily realistic; much better than the cockstaches of my youth.
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
also, the amount of semen in my carpet right now is unforgivable...
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
omg i wish you could see the front of my car.
There's literally a dust print of your body and your arm trying to hold on and the other one where your fingers visibly dragged down the hood.
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
Randomize
