Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
GUESS WHAT I JUST LICKED
I feel like half our conversations start this way.
I need to write the inventor of adderall a thank you note stapled to a copy of my degree
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
yea i thought the egg drop soup tasted weirdly like cum, and then i suddenly remembered what happened last night.
i'm never eating chinese again.
So instead of asking me for my number, he asked for my dad's because he wanted to "thank the man that helped create those tits."
I used my yoga mat as a door stop so he couldn't come into my room when i was sleeping last night. Drunk engineering at its finest
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
Randomize
