She's JV to your varsity
Just saw my boss eat a banana in three bites.
Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
I found my laptop, credit card, and a bottle of Morgan all on the counter this morning. I'm scared to see what gets delivered to my house this week.
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
This is a drunk text message. I am so glad that we are friends. Tomorrow we will eat sandwiches in miniature. We both love dogs. Flower.
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
In sex ed. they really need to include a lesson on saying tampon in foreign languages, just in case.... Trying to ask the woman at the reception desk, who barely speaks English, for one just turned into an awkward game of charades.
I feel like every man should aspire to get a blowjob from a sword swallower.
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
Is it fucked up to venmo someone for plan-b?
Randomize
