I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
... I threw up in the shower this morning
You were "I'm not drunk" drunk.
I was feeling sad so bedroom vodka seemed like the best solution at the time.
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
the best part of christmas was when my mom opened the handcuffs that were supposed to be for jen. Surprisingly, not the most awkward situation of the day.
I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
He asked if I was alright. I said "Yeah, I'm just an incapacitated ball of orgasmic bliss right now."
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
Randomize
