He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
I woke up this morning to 7 word documents that all said "remember to be extremely angry at your jerk of a brother." What the hell did you do to me last night?
I'm sorry I dragged a dildo (on a leash) into your room last night.
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
Yes, you can go into Petsmart drunk but the cats awaiting adoption don't appreciate the soft pretzels squeezed through their cages.
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
I'm currently hiding from this horrific thing that we call adulthood. If anyone needs me, I'll be smoking a bowl in the bouncy house.
Are you still passed out in my back seat, or do I need to come find you?
Randomize
