He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
Just watered mom's plants with leftover mixed drinks full of Bacardi Silver. I'm such a good daughter.
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
Drunk at work, covered in Cheetos is no way to go through life.
I found Cheetos.
Man, I meant to go dancing, but accidentally took mushrooms and just threw the frisbee in the park
Surprise ending
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
So, I feel bad. I just told my husband I had sex with someone else while on a business trip. Today is his birthday. I'm kind of a dick.
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
This can only be settled by a dance off.
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
Randomize
