do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
The smiley face on that pregnancy test is so damn taunting. It's like it's laughing at me for my poor choices.
Just watched a fat girl on a scooter run into the back of a bus head first
You are the luckiest man alive
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
I automatically know you're drunk now as soon as you start yelling in spanish
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
I miss painting strippers for Christmas. Holidays not the same without glitter and body paint
I'll be your substitute stripper tonight.
Randomize
