There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
look mate, i'm pretty sure 14 texts saying "fuck me. fuck me now" more than passes the legal benchmark for consent.
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
He kept falling asleep with the pizza in his hand. I woke him up and told him and he was shocked because he thought he ate it all. Then he would end up falling asleep and we'd repeat the whole process again.
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
I think my nap took me to another dimension
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
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