Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
he just looked at me and whispered "these are my sea lions. my sea lions." and then went back to licking the mirror
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
I spilled a whole plate of queso and salsa on my bed so I'm just eating it off my sheets with chips. How's your night going?
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*
Thanks to you I just drunkenly spot washed a Star Wars hoodie, at midnight on a Friday. If there is a greater level of nerdiness I do not know of its existence
I think my moral compass just broke
Randomize
