My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
apparently the secret to your success is patron
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
dad just smoked me out. he's yelling at room service for not giving him cookies and milk with his towels...we're both too high to know if thats a legit complaint.
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
VOOOODKA VOOODKA WE PLEDGE OUR LOVE TO THEEEE VODKAAAA VODKAAAA SAVIOR OF LIBERTYYYY
Just sent my mother the text "we need to get our vaginas looked at this thursday". Hows your day going?
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
He fucked me on the hood of my car outside his work, and now I'm paranoid that the doggie day care next door might have security cameras.
Holy shit dude........stairs
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
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