Dude, I totally just put a lit lighter to my hand for 10 seconds
How much beer did you get for it?
One ice cold coors, but those mountains lied
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
A guy from tinder a while ago who sent me dick pics straight out the gate is a tech on my dad's hospital floor. I was wondering why he looked familiar and why he never took my dads vitals when I was in the room
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
where are my pants?
in the oven.
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