I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
Don't worry about later. I already pre-ordered a pizza for a 1:45 delivery and told them to ignore any calls from your number.
You're getting good at this, you know that?
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
I'm sweating so much right now i look like Whitney Houston
What the fuck am I going to do with a pinata full of tampons?
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
Fuck I keep finding new battle scars from our fight. Justin told me I stabbed you with a broom handle.. Do you remember ripping my pants off?
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
Hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking you had a pulse
Wanna go on a picnic?
... by picnic I mean wanna sit on a blanket and drink with me?
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
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