You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
It's like being the highest you've ever been, then doing about 20 shots, and chasing them with lines of coke. All while laying on the surface of the sun.
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
I'm high, watching "Scream" and eating a grilled cheese sandwich off my boobs. I'm not going anywhere
Come on, clusterfuck. Put on a pushup bra and get your fine ass to the bar, or you will be a sad single stoner forever
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
My dog misses eating marshmallows out of your butt when you're passed out. That bordered on sex abuse, now that I think about it. My bad.
I smell like a brewery and I have been drinking for 7 hours. This seems like a perfect time to tell my husband I want a divorce.
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
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