True but thats because hes a fetus.
I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
Blonde 1 is sitting on the floor crying and blonde 2 is asleep with her face in the toilet. This isn't what I had in mind when they asked me back
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
I woke up and he used my makeup to write "hope you don't get pregnant" on my mirror before he left
THERE IS AN ENORMOUS FAT WOMAN EYEING MY FLIGHT'S GATE LIKE IT WOULD BE DELICIOUS TO EAT.
I don't get hangovers. Except once. And there is a massively epic story behind that, involving so much alcohol I should have died, and 13 raw hotdogs.
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
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