How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
Oh please tell me that I'm sleeping in your shower and not the neighbor's again
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
Pretty sure I picked a cat up off the street and took him home with me, fed him tuna, then let him go
I'm really sorry that I blew your friend in your bed, but to be fair he started it.
I forgot to tell you. Your neighbor was walking his tiny dog and saw me crawl out of my jeep drunk vomiting and holding onto my bumper. He just said: morning! all friendly.
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
So here's a tip: don't give a blowjob the same morning you're going to the dentist. Cuz they will think you have "mouth trauma."
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
Randomize
