Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
he's super hid and wouldn't leave us alone so i snatched his phone and started texting lovelink (thanks for a well-timed commercial) that will cost him money. muhahaha
Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
He tried to say "god bless your heart" to the stripper but it came out "god bless your pussy"
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
Ran out of eye drops right after putting them in one eye. Half baked at work.
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
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