Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
my dentist asked me why my tooth was chipped, i told him i couldn't remember. i think he understands.
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
I can't tell if I'm getting better at doing my online spanish hw drunk or if my teacher is just grading on creativity. Either way that senoritas gettin an applebees gift card when i graduate.
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
I needed tweezers to get my thong out of my ass this morning.
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
You're lucky I just like fucking you because you would really suck at being a boyfriend.
Randomize
