Just saw a midget shotgun a coors light
weddingsv make me drug and hornr
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
I'm like 99% sure I made out with Kevin Spacey last night. Not good.
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
So because I got upset you didn't answer I threw my phone in the garbage disposal last night
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
Drunk me just left a note for sober me apologizing for all the fucking crumbs in our bed
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
just got back. in my inebriated state i broke an ugly lamp and was sent to the store (still drunk) to get a new one. just spent last half hour in isle 3 of dollar general surounded by more ugly lamps and trying not to throw up on each and every single one.
Randomize
