Sponge bath it is.
theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
Apparently the guard had to repeat "you're too drunk to get in" three times before I understood. I guess he was right.
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
In my next life I better get to be a bird. Fuck flying. I'm gonna shit on your car. Every. Day.
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
The problem I'm having with looking for jobs while drunk is reading is really hard
Sorry about my life...
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
Randomize
