tell your sister to shave her snatch
i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
i just told my mom tuesday boozeday rhymes so that she can remember not to text or call me on wednesday mornings
youre going to kill that woman one of these days
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
She called me in the morning crying, but I was busy cleaning up bird guts, very hungover. It was a very surreal morning.
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
That moment when you notice a tiny IR camera pointing at you, in your bed, at the apartment you found on Craigslist.
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
Randomize
