I want to have your abortion
i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
I don't think the TSA agent thought getting iced while searching my bag was as funny as I did.
Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
reason #326 why I'm still single.... my date just told me there's a little boy ghost that lives in his closet because he likes his music.
Well my normal tinder strategy of "Will I have sex with her when I'm sober" has been paying off
I mean seriously...It's like the universe is saying "your vagina is closed, move along"
All the doctor said was why
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
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