just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
For Halloween this year I'm gonna go as Angelina from Jersey Shore. I'm gonna yell "umm HELLO?!," cockblock someone, then leave the party early
He showed up to fuck me at the same time the pizza guy did. It was like everything I needed just showed up at my stoop.
Something smells like weed and I think it might be my mascara. Come sniff my eyes
Well the pizza delivery man was either startled or incredibly intrigued to see me skateboarding in the living room by myself at 1 in the morning in ripped pantyhose
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
I would fuck him just for his dog
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
The neighbors ahemed the WHOLE time. Their kids are the ones that scream loud enough for me to remember my birth control. It's payback!
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
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