Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
i just woke up naked on my porch, holding the neighbors cat in my arms.
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
I woke up naked dangling by my feet from the balcony over his foyer. He's officially my new favorite booty call.
He woke me up at 3 am kneeling on the floor pissing and yelling, then he passed out and stole my comforter. I want a new roommate...
Overslept. So hungover. Apparently texting the first person in my contact list the time I would like to wake up is not how the alarm clock in my phone actually works.
Totally just drove past you riding your bike. I was like damn, that looks like a cute little hipster boy, and then I realized it was you and that I'd already banged you and it kinda made my day. I hope you're well. Come over soon?
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
He told me if he passed out to wake him by sitting on his face, and if he suffocated at least he would die happy. Found the one.
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
Randomize
