So we stole all of the newspapers out of the stands within a 1 mile radius and filled up her car with crumpled newspaper.
Who leaves their car unlocked at night?
Someone who wants to read the newspaper.
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
We watched Jurassic Park and they made me drink every time they saw or named a dinosaur. Do you know how many dinosaurs live in Jurassic Park? Lots.
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
Thank you for deleting me from Instagram. Also, I'm carrying your child. Happy new year!
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
ETSY JUST SENT ME AN EMAIL WITH THE SUBJECT "SUMER ROMANCE" I'M BEYOND FUCKING DONE
I just had the polyamorous Canadian hockey player do the splits while naked in a handstand at my apartment just now. And yes, I know it’s 1:30am on a Thursday.
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
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