You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
First lesson of the year: don't close the bar on mondays
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
he just used a semicolon in the middle of a sext
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
I got a discount on the lube for giving the cashier focaccia bread from work.
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
i passed out in front of ihop...for the second night in a row. i think i need to reevaluate my life choices
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
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