Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
When you only buy popcorn and condoms at the grocery store they know whats up.
Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
a queef is a wish your heart makes.
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
Bartending School is so much more enjoyable now that I realized I was in rehab at this time last year.
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
Drunk and alone at a magic show is what my life has become without you
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
You know i love you, but i just cannot fuck you until your eyebrow grows back. It's too hard not to laugh.
Something about finishing sexting a guy and him going "well. I have to get ready for Passover now" really makes me rethink my life choices
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
Love waking up to a new contact named “Pizza” btw
Randomize
