Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
I'm drinking a margarita out of my 'best bj' trophy and it tastes like victory.
She stole my hamster. idk who she was, she just walked in and said she knew Keith so she stayed, drank 6 beers, and then stole Charles.
He asked me if I could call his penis destroyer... Uhh SOS.
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
So the stripper who poured a beer on my head also gives great head. Even she doesn't know why she went home with me. No more mystery shot challenges.
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.
The cute guy in my class hurt himself and is on crutches. My first thought was "Good. He'll be easier to take down." Like he's a gazelle and I'm a dick tiger. What's wrong with me?
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
Just bailed on her the best way possible. Got tickets to the game. Only issue is.... if we lose, we not only lost, but I skipped sex to watch us lose
8 stitches. Next time I decide to twerk while doing a keg stand, stop me.
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
Donald Trump looks like someone photoshopped hair onto a dick pic.
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
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