Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
i woke up today to a handjob from this really fat girl that keeps calling me michael phelps
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
The magic cards should have been the first clue. The comments that I have "amazing birthing hips" and that I'm "beautiful in a child bearing sort of way just sealed his fate.
Just met me in 10 years...this lady keeps an emergency wine cooler in her bag
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
Good news: you're over the drunk crying life phase. Bad news: now you're handy and violent. You were groping me from behind in front of the guy you like, then you put me in a headlock and swept the leg.
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
I wanna get a tattoo next to my tattoo that says, my ex did this so don't fucking ask
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