okay pat passed out under dana's car
His glasses broke on the way to the bar aNd he ended up talking to this butterface all night. I didn't have the heart to tell him
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
Just woke up next to our cab driver from last night. Please tell me this isn't happening.
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
You wanted to thank my penis. You wanted me to take the condom off so you could touch it and thank it.
I'm starting to think I didn't bring enough liquor for this family Christmas.
It's 2 pm....
On a side note...my DUI lawyer just snapchatted me. This is the exact moment in time when I realized my like IS a joke.
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
You sat on me. Like I was a toilet. While I was on the toilet. You peed a little.
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
Randomize
