A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
My FitBit tracked the calories I burned during sex. Hello 2015!
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
Randomize
