I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
hey, what are you doing? my roommates are gone for the night... you should come over ;)
nah, i'm gonna grab some food
the condom got lost in my hair
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
I'm leaving my hospital band on when we go drinking tonight. I'm aiming for pity sex.
I just want my birth control to stop making me feel like I'm watching baby seals get clubbed to death any time anything even remotely unpleasant happens lol
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
You know you're an adult when you start planning your hookup a week in advance
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
You know what would have been funny if we got arrested last night? The inventory search of the lock box:\n\nContents:\n1 work ID\n1 33 round Glock magazine\n1 set of keys\n1 vibrator\n2 bags fruit snacks\n1 parking hang tag
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
Randomize
