if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
my breakfast just consisted of gushers (made with real fruit!) and they're trying to tell me im not eating right?
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
What a dumb baby whore.
And I swear to god I'll divorce you if you so much as say a single sentence in Yoda talk in our bedroom. I may be a nerd but that's just fucking creepy
Shit, my parents are coming over and I just realized that a grinder is not an acceptable paperweight
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
I have to call my new boss to accept the job offer so you have pack the bowl while I pretend I'm a responsible adult THEN we can get high
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
This German chick looked me up and down for a while. Then she grabbed my crotch, let go after a few seconds, and said "you vill do". I think I'm gonna like tonight.
Randomize
