He looked me in the chest and said "I think I was visited by the titty fairy last night"
A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
Pictures of drunk me in a bike helmet are like McDonald's collectible toys. There's sooo many, but NO ONE has seen all of them.
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
i literally have the attention span of a weasel on steroids, but yeah, i know who you’re talking about.
Randomize
