Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
Please come pick me up? I sleep walked to planned parenthood again.
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
A girl just asked me if we had pregnancy tests and a coworker had to stop me from telling her I was a pregnancy test. THAT is why I don't drink at work.
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
Um ... did I have a lizard on my shoulder last night at the bar?
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
Once you start using "cuddles" as a code word for sex you'll never get real cuddles again
Randomize