That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
Dude I was taking a shower and I kept looking down at the drain expecting Mario to come up, yell "It's a me, Mario!", tickle my balls, and go back down the drain.
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
Sorry, not ignoring you.. We broke open the other piñata left from cinco de mayo and it was filled with condoms, mini booze bottles, and those little party horn things you blow into. You'll forgive me when we're fucking for days with all these free condoms.
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
I FOUND THE LEGS
But the problem is you celebrate with your heart but I celebrate with my liver
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
Randomize
