when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
You're a big dope. Life is about fighting for what you want, not accepting what you hate.
Why does tequilla always make you text me?
I got so many pubes stuck in her braces that when she yanked her head, I cried out like that one girl you "accidentally" rear-ended last week. Bald spots are battle scars.
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
he was so high, he talked to my goldfish for an hour telling him the dangers of overfeeding.
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
I've gotta stop getting kicked out of bars for fighting with people over the accuracy of the Harry Potter movie.
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
He's my BOYFRIEND but he won't sext me. I'll be like, "tell me how you want to fuck me", and he's like, "I love how we can talk about our feelings". FUCK
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
I'm sitting in the hospital with him while he's still half drunk with a busted leg because he thought he could do parkour off a rock
Randomize
