jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
Even after projectile vomiting watermelon on the beach, it still sounds appetizing.
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
Who the hell poured a whole pouch of Capri Sun down my throat last night?
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
I didn't want to have shaved for no reason, so I told him I'd blow him if he would just come over and appreciate the smoothness of my legs.
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
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