so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
all i remember of last night is that i was drinking jameson and then NOTHING i do remember walking a dog though\nwhich is sooo fucking weird
OH MY GOD ITS COMING BACK I PUT THE DOG IN THE HOTTUB TOO
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
I'm getting turned down for sex. Apparently my "sexual appetite" cannot be satiated even by a man who's such a deviant he went to prison for jerking off in his car.
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
In other news, I tore a tendon in my hand from giving my boyfriend handjobs so that's how my day is going
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
I am literally watching TV with sunglasses on because the brightness hurts my hangover
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
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