it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
She just looked down there and said "i breed horses. this is better than anything ive ever seen."
I didn't just randomly come up with it. But if you want to give me extra credit for creativity I have a bare chest and chocolate sauce left
Nothing makes me happier than finding out someone else is pregnant and it's not you.
Oh I will totally be your beard, but on one condition I get to watch you and your boy friend have sex.
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
I blacked out at work again... Except this time my boss watched me throw up by the bus stop and some woman let me sleep on her shoulder for an hour. Why does this keep happening?
I told her I was going to sleep early last night. I probably should not have sent that snapchat of us playing beer pong.
I think my biggest regret in life is not banging you in the science museum
The last time the Patriots won the Super Bowl I lost my virginity. I can only imagine what'll happen if they win this year.
When I met you, I was just like "who the fuck is this drunk chick throwing up on my bed?" But I'm glad we're friends now
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
Randomize
