just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
I can't do a walk of shame with a sombrero full of baby chickens
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
Hey before you quit, let me sell drugs to your boss at least one more time
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
He motorboated me, gave me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
Also—I just realized that your wedding gift is still on my dining room table. So...as awful as I am for not yet sending it (and I still need your address), at least I didn’t bring my screaming children to potentially the most important day of your life?
Randomize
